My Sister/Me

This poem was inspired by the relationship I share with my dear sister and I wrote it one vacation when we were spending the holidays away from each other. To have a sister and consider her a best friend is one of the greatest blessings a girl can have and one which I always thank God for. The poem says it all, so read and enjoy ;).


Two halves of a whole
that's what we are.
I'm here, you're there
Still,
Feels as though you're here
and I'm there.


As opposite as night to day
Yet the same in every way.
I shout,
You whisper.
Just a glance 
and a secret is shared.


We laugh
and it's the same.
You fall,
I feel the pain.
I annoy you,
you annoy me
Yet,
we're two halves of a whole.
One mind, one heart, one soul.
                     - July, 2009. 

Flying Free

I'm posting poems because I haven't had time to focus on writing a full-length story. This poem is also another 'blast from the past'. There are two reasons why I haven't posted any of my newly written poems; 1. they are still too personal for me to put out here and 2. there aren't that many new poems of mine (yet). I'll have no choice but to put them up once I run out of these old ones, lol. Enjoy and let me know what you think ;).


Came at the right time
though it was the wrong time;
felt like it should be a crime.
But how can something so perfect
ever be wrong?

Gave me the courage to do
All I never could
because I was too much a fool
To take that scary step,
To find what was out there,
To find a breath of fresh air.

Not sure what it is,
It certainly feels like bliss,
Something that sets me free
that I'm glad I did not miss.
                     - 2009.   

Doubting...

Yet another blast from the past i.e 2005. I wonder how many people have found themselves in this situation, not knowing how the other person feels about you.... Let me know what you think.
Enjoy ;)!

* * *

The anxiety is smothering me,

Threatening to pull me under.

Here I’m not meant to be,

Here on the verge of surrender.

The wondering is choking me,

Trying to halt my breath.

Can you not see

The nearness of my death?

The questions keep hounding,

Finding me in my deepest refuge.

These doubts are abounding

Like an unannounced  deluge.

Capture the anxiety,

The wondering do let flee

Give answers to these questions

And doubts turn to mere apparitions.

Then finally will I be sure

Of all that I feel.

That here you’ll always be,

Only mine forever more. 

                    - February, 2005.

The Betrayal

Here's another piece I just dug up - this laptop has been hiding things from me! - can't remember when I started it, but it's incomplete. So I'm posting the little I've written so far and will commit myself to finishing it and posting the rest here. 

Betrayal is something we all have experienced at one time or another, in different ways, so I hope some of you can relate. If not, just enjoy :)!

Pokuaa woke up feeling as though she had been ran over by a car and then beaten with a cane. She got up slowly and sat up on the bed, wondering whether she had dreamt about the events of the previous night. Getting up carefully, she went to the mirror in her room and stared back at her reflection. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying herself to sleep. Her lips seemed to have forgotten how to smile and her nose was blocked. The sight of her own face made her even sadder bringing tears to her eyes once more and causing her to remember the reason behind her unhappiness.

                She had been reading over her lecture notes when her boyfriend had called to tell her he was on his way to see her. She had been ecstatic because it had been a while since she saw him; he had been busy trying to finish a project which was taking up all of his time. After the call she had quickly freshened up and tidied her room up a bit. When the knock on the door came she knew it was him and opened it with a broad smile on her face. Her smile slowly faded as she noticed the somber look on his face.

                “Yaw, what’s wrong? Are you ok?” she asked him worriedly.

                “Can I come in?” he asked, brushing off her question.

She opened the door wider to let him in and closed it behind him. She paused for a moment wondering what could possibly be making him behave so seriously.

                “Can I offer you anything to drink?” she asked him in an effort to ease the tension which was quickly settling in the room.

                “No, I’m ok,” he paused. “Ermm, we need to talk…I think you should sit” he said carefully, not looking at her.

                “Ei, you sound serious papa” she responded with a small laugh as she sat on her bed. He did not return her laugh and this made her even more nervous.

Yaw pulled up a chair and sat facing her. Pokuaa waited, he seemed to be mustering the courage to speak. She braced herself, still wondering what it was that was so difficult for him to say.

                “Ok, I’m listening. I’m all ears” she said with forced brightness trying to hide her nervousness.

                Yaw took in a deep breath and exhaled. “Ok. Pokuaa, here’s the thing. You know I care about you a lot, right?” Pokuaa nodded, feeling confused and wondering where this was going. “But…” Yaw paused.

                “But…?” Pokuaa prompted.

                “I don’t think this relationship is working and I think we should break up,” Yaw let out in a rush. He looked at her face, watching for her reaction.

                Pokuaa wasn’t sure she had heard right. She tried to process what Yaw had just said to her but it still did not make sense to her. “You want a break-up” she repeated incredulously. “Why?”

                Yaw suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Pokuaa, I’m really sorry but I just think this is the best thing to do. Especially considering how I have to focus most of my attention on my project work” he offered as explanation.

                Pokuaa was annoyed and confused. “You’re not the only one who’s a student, you know. Are you seriously using school work as your excuse?” she exclaimed in disbelief.

                “That’s not the only thing…”Yaw began and trailed off.

                “Ok, you have my full attention. Tell me why this sudden desire to break up with me” Pokuaa urged. She felt a wetness on her cheeks and realized she was crying.

                “Please don’t cry,” he begged with a look of panic in his eyes.

He made to hold her but Pokuaa pushed him away.

                “I’m still waiting for you to tell me why” she pressed, brushing away the tears with her hand even as more continued to flow down her face. 

                Pokuaa watched as Yaw opened his mouth and then closed it without saying a word and proceeded to look anywhere but at her face.

                She was filled with a muddle of emotions; anger, sadness, frustration, confusion. Her anger overpowered the other emotions and she lashed out at him. “If you have nothing to say to me then get out!” she screamed.

Her outburst shocked him. He had never seen her so enraged. He seemed about to say something but then thought better of it and mumbled out a meek, “I’m sorry”.

“Just get out!” Pokuaa choked out as she held the door open for him.

Yaw got up to leave and paused at the door, attempting to speak again but Pokuaa turned away from him and he left.

Pokuaa closed the door behind him and finally sank into her bed, giving in to the tears she had been holding at bay.

* * * 

To open up the doors of writing that have been shut here for so long, I open a window to some of my poems from as far back as 2005! Came across it in one of the many folders on my laptop and thought, why not start from there? I promise to write more often! I'm serious this time, lol :). So here goes. Enjoy :)

The One

The one I wish to see,

The one I wish to love,

The one I wish to touch

Is farther than above.

Like a bird without a perch

My heart flutters, searching

For that one, the one

who is its eternal perch.

The one to whom I belong

The one to whom I sing this song

The one to whom I sigh at night

Is nearer than my deepest sigh.

Like a ship after a journey

My heart anchors at the harbor

Finally finding the one,

The one I forever adore.

                   - January, 2005

IT'S ALIVE!!! (this blog, I mean, lol)

The last time I posted on this blog was May 2011 (disappointing, I know. I'm cringing even as I type). The way I see it, I tend to be a perfectionist especially when it comes to my writing. Wanting things to look great, professional, sound amazing etc is not a bad thing in general. But when that quest for the ultimate masterpiece gets in the way of actually producing anything, then it becomes a problem. Having recently forced myself to come to this conclusion, I am embarking on a 'revival' of this most treasured but long neglected part of my life.
I do hope those of you who have been with me from the very start will join me once again on this wonderful adventure into the joint products of my creativity and imagination.
As I've matured, I've come to realize that the adage "truth is stranger than fiction" is truer than I thought. Thus, if you feel a particular connection to any of the pieces I will be producing here, do not hesitate to let me know unless you'd rather keep that to yourself. Also, the stories and poems I post here are products of my own imagination (unless I state otherwise). Therefore, any resemblance to events past or present, or to real persons living or dead, is purely coincidental (I've always wanted to say that, hehe :)).
Enjoy!!!

First Crush

           Do you remember what your first crush was like? Your very first meaningful crush? (I’m not talking about that crush you had on your class one teacher because at that age – that is, 6 – he seemed so tall and mighty and invincible you couldn’t help your little heart admiring him a little more than it made sense for a 6 year old to). I’m talking about that crush you had when you were finally considered an adolescent (or at least pre-pubescent) and it hurt when someone bumped your chest because finally, your boobs were growing! Ok, I digress. Back to the main point; the first crush. So here I’m going to write a little something based on what MY first crush was like *wink, wink*. Enjoy!

* * *

                The period had just started for Integrated Science and Mr Appiah was asking questions about the topic he had taught during the previous week’s class. As usual, he was ignoring those know-it-alls who had raised their hands to answer the question, elongating their arms by stretching higher as though that would be more successful at grabbing the teacher’s attention. Mr Appiah was choosing to prey on those unsuspecting students who seemed to be pre-occupied with other more interesting things.

                Mr Appiah peered over his spectacles, looking round the class carefully and seemed to become excited when he managed to nab another unsuspecting victim. He called out her name, “Akua Mansa, what is the answer to my question?!”

                Akua started at the sound of her name and realized to her horror that all 31 pairs of eyes in the room were looking at her. Unfortunately for her, today was the one day when she had not being paying attention at all to what was going on in the class. She swallowed nervously as she tried to shove the notebook she’d been doodling in under her desk and get up at the same time.

                “Umm….sir, could you please repeat the question?” she asked timidly, feeling extremely self-conscious.

                “Aha!” Mr Appiah yelled out in triumph. “You were not paying attention” he said, stating the obvious. He began walking towards where Akua was standing and the other students in the class swiveled around in their seats, the better to see the drama which was quickly unfolding before them.

Oh God, please don’t let him come close, please, please, please, Akua prayed silently, hoping against hope that by some miracle the teacher would turn round and go back to the front of the class. It soon became evident to her and to the rest of the class that Mr Appiah was on a mission and would not rest until he had completed it.

                Mr Appiah came to a stop by her desk and peered over his glasses at her, “Miss Mensah, what were you doing that was so important that you couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to what I’m teaching?”

                Akua’s power of speech seemed to have deserted her momentarily and she struggled to respond, finally coming out with a very weak, “Nothing”.

                “Nothing, eh?,” Mr Appiah repeated, looking at her contemplatively.  His gaze turned to her desk. “What do you have under your desk?”

                She couldn’t stop the panic-stricken expression that spread across her face and the teacher noticed. He reached under her desk and pulled out her notebook as she looked on helplessly.

                “So what do we have here, Miss Mensah?” Mr Appiah said as he turned the book over in his hands with an amused look on his face.

                Akua’s face fell as she began dreading what would happen next. She tried to look calm even as her heart began to beat erratically, threatening to pop right out of her chest.

                Mr Appiah had opened her notebook to where she had left her pen holding the page in place (Akua kicked herself mentally for leaving the pen there). He was visibly amused and after reading some of what she had written in the book to himself, he walked back to the front of the class with the book still in his hand. Akua slid into her seat wishing she could melt into the floor.

                “Class, it seems while we were all engaging in serious discussions, Miss Mensah had found other ways of amusing herself and passing the time,” he announced. He opened Akua’s notebook and proceeded to read it out. “Akua and Nana Yaw forever, Mrs Akua Johnson, Mr and Mrs Johnson, Mrs Nana Yaw Johnson. And under that, she has drawn a picture of herself with said gentleman, I presume, and has drawn hearts around them” at that point he paused and looked up at the class. “I’m quite sure if Akua Mansa and the rest of you paid as much attention to detail in your diagrams for this class as she has given to her drawing, you would all be making As”

The whole class erupted in laughter to the further embarrassment of Akua.

                “Mr Johnson! Nana Yaw Johnson,” Mr Appiah called out, looking round the class for his new target. He finally located him seated at the back of the class. “Please stand up, Mr Johnson”  

The class turned in unison, as though by remote control to look at Nana Yaw as he stood up from his seat.

Akua could feel the sweat trickling down her back. Oh no, what would this man do next to humiliate her further? She wondered with trepidation.

                “Nana Yaw, it seems to me, you have a very  committed secret admirer here” he said in amusement, turning to look at Akua who was trying her best to blend in with the furniture without success.  “Nana Yaw, you may sit down. Akua Mansa, next time pay more attention in class, ok?” Mr Appiah peered at her sternly waiting for her response. The whole class was laughing uncontrollably now and it didn’t look like they would be stopping anytime soon.

                Akua nodded meekly, “Yes, sir”.

                Satisfied, the Integrated Science teacher turned his attention back to the class. “That’s enough excitement for today, class. Now, who can answer my question? What are the necessary conditions for photosynthesis to take place in a plant?”

Some students raised their hands even as others continued to giggle and steal glances at Akua.

Akua had never felt so humiliated in her life. For the rest of the Science class, she sat up and managed to keep a straight face though deep inside all she wanted to do was to cry.

*

                Finally, the class had come to an end and it was time for lunch break. Akua continued to sit at her desk while the other students left the classroom for the break.

                Mr Appiah, who was still gathering his notes, noticed her still seated at her desk and called her forward. Akua got up slowly and went to him.

                He handed her notebook back to her but continued holding on to it as she took it. She looked up at his face. “As your punishment, I want you to write ‘I will pay more attention in class and less to my love life when I am in school’ 500 times. I want it on my desk by close of day tomorrow. Is that clear?” he instructed sternly.

                “Yes, sir” she responded tiredly.

                “Ok, you have a good day,” he said somewhat ironically and strode out of the class, his notes under his arm.

                Akua sighed and stood where she was, wondering what to do with herself.

                “Akua?” a voice from behind her called softly.

                She turned only to find Nana Yaw staring worriedly at her. Can this day get any worse? She groaned inwardly. “Umm, I’m really sorry about…” she began to apologise awkwardly.

                He waved her attempt away, cutting her short. “I was actually quite flattered” he grinned endearingly at her.

                Akua felt her jaw drop. Huh? Was she hearing right? “You know, if you’re trying to make fun of me I understand but it really isn’t funny,” she managed to say, looking at him warily.

“Oh, I’m serious o,” his grin faded and was replaced with a grave look. His face lit up suddenly. “You know what? Let’s go for break together and we’ll talk…ok?” he suggested.

Before she could compose an intelligible response, he had grabbed her hand and was pulling her out the door. All thought flew out of her head except for one glaring realization; he’s holding my hand!

Maybe ,just maybe, there was going to be a silver lining in this cloud of a day, she mused dreamily, strongly aware of the fact that the boy she had a crush on was holding her hand.

THE END.  

©2011 Abena K. Karikari.